I have a problem. A lack of awareness , maybe. So, somebody please enlighten me about some gadget, appliance, alarm, contraption… or anything remotely akin which would perform the following functions.
P.s. It’s an SOS situation, a loud call out. Kindly discuss with peers, family, known ones, entrepreneurs, start ups, scientists, inventors, etc, etc…
1. At the source of emanation of a tempting food aroma, shut off that part of my brain that recognises ‘good food’ and brainwashes me into believing that I am not a foodie anymore.
2. When my sight falls on delectable alluring food, redirect my mind and thoughts towards the drop dead gorgeous, carved with a knife type body of a supermodel and actuate towards achieving at least double her size. ( pls don’t ask about the current scenario)
3. At the onset of a surging food aroma, kill the concept of palatableness.
4. When offered scrumptious looking sweet meats, cakes, ice creams or any other form of devilish, sin inducing desert, anywhere on this planet, it immediately plunges towards both my hands in a lurch and ties them behind my back with invisible strings, until the desire to pick and pop into the mouth dies.
5. In a party, each time I look at the beautiful spread on the dining table, somehow in a very inexplicable manner, mysteriously, It makes me prise towards the dance floor instead, away from the sight of the snacks.
6. When trying to read the nutritional value on packed food items, the words, ‘no trans fat’ should always be illegible and in lieu of it, ‘no junk food no matter what’ should be anticipated.
7. Magically eradicate the acknowledgement of all phrases from the head remotely close to the following:- bhookh lagi hai; kuch meetha khane ka man kar raha hai; aaj bahar chalein Chinese khate hain; main halwa banaaoon( as it is the answer is always nooooo from the family, “aap mat banao”); chalo pizza mangwate hain, etc.
And during the use of this device, instead of freaking out several times, my eyes must shut, deep breathing commences and chanting of Ommmmmm, happens automatically.
All this until I offload the extra 14kgs that so happily made its way into my body in the past 3 years without permission!!