Whilst there are many of us waiting for something to happen so that we can restart work or turn our business idea into a reality, it is this group that suffers emotional churn because there is a huge gap in where we want to be and where we are at present

Are women wired to network?, I asked Nirupama, a life coach. We were putting together our annual summit, an occasion when more than 300 women come together every year. The feedback that emerged from last year’s summit, in 2018, was to better facilitate the networking session. Although we provided sufficient avenues, comparable to other conferences, we realised that our guests wanted something more and hence my question.

Nirupama’s answer was such a revelation. She brought my attention to the fact that most women move into new houses after getting married. We start living with a new circle of people, we make that effort to get to know them, engage and network. Many times, this has also meant stepping out of one’s comfort zone. Women do it when they have to. They may network differently, but they definitely can. The key is to be convinced that they ‘have to’.

This also reminded me of something — there are many among us, especially after motherhood — wanting to restart our career or start our own venture. It is almost like an invisible energy that stops us — an inertia that sets in. We give this many forms and convince ourselves that this is why we are unable to progress further. The irony is that although we may be educated, have access to the necessary tools and resources to make it happen, this invisible energy seems to stop us.

Some among us have managed to fight this inertia, reach out and make things happen. And some of us consciously have decided to become homemakers. This is also great as long as you are happy in that space and it works for you.

Whilst there are many of us waiting for something to happen so that we can restart work or turn our business idea into a reality, it is this group that suffers a lot of emotional churn because there is a huge gap in where we want to be and where we are at present. Unfortunately, this gap only grows wider as we keep waiting for things to happen.

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I spoke to some women who have broken the inertia and made things happen for themselves and following are some of the tips:

  • Know what you want and commit yourself to it. Understand why this is important for you? Visualise ! Visualising is a great tool to turn dreams into reality. It works at the subconscious level.
  • The next and a very important step is to give it the importance it deserves. Do not wait for someone else to do something that you are not willing to.
  • Create a plan of action. When stuck, seek solutions. All answers are not within you. In this age of internet and social media, it is easy to get connected to the right people who can help you.
  • Ask for help. Do not fear being turned down. Please remind yourself — when we ask for help, we have a tendency to dilute things to reduce the risk of getting rejected. Let us learn to ask for what we want clearly. Also, indicate a time frame so you do not keep waiting indefinitely.
  • Find a circle of friends who are at a similar place. Meet with them at regular intervals to check with each other the progress made. Encourage each other. Also, constantly evaluate the effectiveness of the group on you. It should have a positive impact on you and push you closer towards your goal. Sometimes, it is just the energy and the other times, it can be valuable tips or connections.

Everyone has a reason to not do things and face their own challenges. Ensure you have a drive bigger than these reasons and challenges you face. Ask yourself again and again —‘how much do I want this?’ — and commit yourself.

First Published: Aug 26, 2019 05:25 IST in Hindustan Times 
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