Sailing Through The Turbulence -Together

They say it’s easier said than done, but I think there can be no better person to say this, as I have lived every struggle and turbulent life with a big smile and extreme hope.

I don’t say quitting is bad or even easy but sometimes it’s not a choice, due to varied reasons. I have read the agony of so many women and today I share a piece of my story(read heart), hoping that even if one woman gets the strength to fight her battle, then I have done my bit on this women’s day.

According to me, life cannot be classified into black and white. There are many grey areas, similarly, people cannot be completely bad or good (leaving some exceptions). It is the situation around them that makes them behave in a certain way. I believe there is something good in every person and the art of living is tapping on that good and getting the best out of that person. But instead what we do is focus on what is wrong and we keep nagging and poking to only get the worst out of that human.

Trust me I have learned this a very hard way and after many many years of struggle. My spouse who truly, madly, and deeply loves me, but also the one who has given me the scariest and hardest time of my life, made me learn this lesson. There were times I was filled with only negative emotions and wanted to run away but as I said, sometimes running is not a choice because you have certain responsibilities (children, parents, etc) that don’t permit you to quit a marriage.

I always knew that my husband honestly loved me but what triggered his anger and his drinking always confused me. It took me many years and advice from a professional that the problem is deep-rooted in his childhood and family who have knowingly or unknowingly created such severe inferiority complex and fears in him, that now he needs to intoxicate himself to overcome those feelings. It took me immense courage and strength to start fighting for him rather than with him to help him come out of this situation. I gave him full support, listened to him, and then showed him full confidence which started bringing about the change in him. If someone tried to bring him down in front of me, even if from his own family, I would stand like a pillar and save him from getting bullied. This built his confidence in me, which worked in my favour and he now listens to what I say, he understands that I want his best. This has brought his drinking to half the quantity he used to drink.

Fingers crossed, hopefully, he will quit soon. There are still days of struggle because the outside world is very harsh and he is emotionally weak. Sometimes he gets caught up in the situation. But together, holding strong, we sail through the turbulence. They say forgive and forget- again I will say it’s easier said than done but I most definitely can because I have forgiven and moved on -but not without him