Domestic Violence has been prevalent in our country since ages now and even when our nation is progressing the cases of domestic abuse and trauma is on the rise. However, women now in some strata of our society have started to raise their voice against this crime.Yes, it is a crime. To subject someone to physical, emotional, financial, sexual and mental abuse can be no less than a crime. A woman can be subjected to domestic violence at any point of time and till the time they are counseled or educated to stand up against those who are subjecting them to this, it will not stop.
We live in a society where a man is not considered man enough if he does not ‘control’ his woman. And this behavior trait is taught to him by his family or friends right from his childhood. A child learns more from what he sees and it is true. If the women in the house have been subjected to abuse by the men then the sons too are more likely to endorse such behavior and do the same with their wives, sisters, and daughters. We need to actually work towards raising children in such a way that they can know the difference between right and wrong behavior and not continue something because it has been a family trait.
Let’s read about some common myths and notions that are usually accepted for domestic violence
A husband has the right to treat his wife the way he wants
A woman is not a property that can be owned. However, men who abuse their wives consider them that. And sadly women fail to see their worth and subject themselves to this. No one has the right to abuse anyone even if he is married to that person. A girl since birth is taught to compromise and live according to what her husband demands as per the family traditions. Here’s where a change is required and this belief is actually changing in certain strata of society especially in the urban areas. Girls are being raised to become independent and live life on their terms without harming anyone.
What will people say if you raise your voice against domestic violence?
Yes, we are too bothered about our society and less about our daughters. I remember a few years ago, a friend of mine tried to commit suicide as she was being subjected to constant domestic violence by her husband since a few years. By god’s grace, she survived, however, her parents’ behavior came as a shocker as they wanted their daughter to go back to the husband as they were afraid to face their relatives if she left her husband. My question to them was ‘What if she had died today? Would the so called relatives be able to get their daughter back ?”.Thankfully I could make them understand which resulted in her ending the marriage and saving her life
All will be fine. Just have patience and be quiet
I’m sure many women are told this by their in-laws and parents too. Keeping quiet and tolerating their husband’s behavior is not the solution as such behavior actually never ends. Once an abuser, always an abuser especially if the man knows that his wife would tolerate whatever he does to her. Such actions need to be stopped right from the very first time in order to break the myth that a husband is more powerful .
He would change if you plan a baby
A child truly brings in a lot of happiness in the family. However bringing a child into a family where the mother is subjected to abuse by the father is no solution to this. It is actually a myth that the woman stops getting ill-treated during pregnancy and once she gives birth. I have seen instances where pregnant women have been subjected to constant physical and emotional abuse by the husband or her in-laws.Women are also constantly told to tolerate domestic violence for the sake of their children. Staying in an abusive relationship is more damaging for the child as the child too is directly or indirectly subjected to abuse. If things are beyond repair and control then it better to dissolve such a marriage for the betterment of the child.
Most men have extra-marital affairs.He is letting you stay in his house so what is your problem?
For most physical abuse alone is considered as domestic violence. Men will be men and it is fine to have a fling or an extra-marital affair. And if you happen to be the fortunate one to be allowed to stay in his house, then you shouldn’t complain. Infidelity or adultery itself is a crime in the eyes of law and is a part of domestic violence. An emotional abuse is far more detrimental and painful than physical abuse and it’s about time that we start to understand the severity of the same
It’s all your fault.Why would he behave like this otherwise?
How many women listen to this almost daily from their husbands, in-laws, parents and relatives even when they are not at fault. We live in a society where the woman is blamed for everything and the men are considered as Gods which again is not true. Why should the woman be blamed for getting abused?
Educated men never abuse
Wrong, a woman can be subjected to domestic violence irrespective of the family background and social status.Infact such cases are on the rise in the urban sector as well that is the home of a lot of educated men.
Domestic violence needs to be curbed and stopped and for that women need to come forward and raise their voice against such injustice. However, we need to ensure that the law is not misused. Women need to be empowered so that they can understand their worth and take a stand against domestic violence. If you are someone who is subjected to domestic abuse in marriage, then please talk about it with your friends and family. Speaking up and creating a support group for yourself is the first step. Remember that you may feel weak at times but within you have the strength to leave.
You have the strength to overcome and stand against any abuse in order to achieve what you deserve.
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