Use of a Vibrator has plenty of benefits. Not only it brings spice into your sex life with your partner, it keeps your vagina healthy and active as with age, the vagina tends to get less elastic. Most importantly, it takes your pleasure horizon to another level!
We asked some of our members to share their experiences and this is what they had to say –

Anonymous member –

I’m sure most of you ladies out there can relate to this but finding the right vibrator can be quite a journey. I mean, it’s not like we can just walk into a store and ask for a recommendation, “Excuse me, what’s the best vibrator for me?” No, no, no. It’s a secret quest, a hidden treasure hunt, and let me tell you, I have finally found the magnificence of the century: the holy grail of all vibrators.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. How did I make this magnificent discovery, you ask? Well, let me tell you, it all started with a simple Google search. I was feeling a bit adventurous and wanted to try something new, so I started browsing the vast universe of the internet. And that’s when I stumbled upon it – the vibrator of my dreams.
It was love at first sight. I mean, just look at it. It’s sleek, stylish, and packed with features that would make a tech geek jealous. It has multiple speeds, patterns as feature. I was in awe, and I knew I had to have it.
The moment I got my hands on it, I was ready to test it out. I must say, I was a bit nervous, but also very excited. I mean, I’ve heard so much about the liberating and empowering feeling that comes with using a vibrator, and I was ready to experience it for myself.
So, I set the mood, lit some candles, and turned on some music. I grabbed my new toy, took a deep breath, and… WOW. Just, wow. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. The vibrations were strong, yet gentle, and not to mention the terrific ORGASM… well, let’s just say it added a whole new level of excitement.
As I continued to explore my body, I felt a sense of empowerment wash over me. I was in control, and it was liberating. I was able to enjoy the sensations, without any distractions or worries. It was just me, my vibrator, and the moment.
But the best part? My partner was reluctant initially on experimenting the gadget on me. But we thought why not give it a try. It turned out to be a new and exciting experience for both of us rejuvenating our almost dead sex life.
Now, I know some of you may be thinking that using a vibrator takes away from the intimacy of being with a partner, but let me tell you, it’s quite the opposite. It adds a new level of excitement and intimacy to your relationship. Plus, it’s a great way to explore your own body and understand what you like and what you don’t like.
In conclusion, I must say, finding the right vibrator has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It has not only brought me pleasure, but it has also given me a sense of liberation and empowerment over my own body. So, ladies, if you’re looking for a new and exciting way to explore your sexuality, I highly recommend giving a vibrator a try. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Anonymous member –

I am a person with a high sex drive and I lucked out when I fell in love with and married a guy who is as into sex as I am, or perhaps even more. Our marriage of 2 decades plus has been all about open communication, an enthu for spicing things up and making very conscious efforts to keep our sex life regular and rocking.

I first started using a small clitoral vibrator some 15 years back when my husband gifted it to me. A couple of years later a dildo also followed. These were online purchases made out of curiosity when sex toys first started selling in India.
The best kind of sexual partner is the one who gives equal importance to pleasure for both, one who understands that a vibrator is not his enemy or his replacement in bed but it is an ally which can quadruple the pleasure.

Focus on female pleasure needs to mainstream. I actually clapped when a short film called Happy Birthday Mummy Ji by Shefali Shah on youtube ended with her slipping into a hot tub and focussing on self pleasure.

I feel deeply sad that so many women are not in touch with themselves, their bodies and needs. Some harbor shame and guilt, some have no privacy or space to get in touch with themselves, some lack self awareness and knowledge. What’s even sadder is that most of their partners are selfish, self centred, ignorant idiots, refusing to educate themselves about their partner’s bodies and needs and rolling off and snoring once they’re done. The more I hear of such things, the madder I get and wish women took pride and felt rightful about their pleasure!

Today we women, increasingly and very consciously don’t want to depend on men for finances, physical and social support or even for having a child. Then why must we depend on men for sexual satisfaction? Why not take matters into our own hands?
The biggest reason I would want every woman to have a private drawer of her own with some lube and toys is glorious MULTIPLE ORGASMS. To me, good sex is the closest you can get to nirvana without starving yourself under a tree waiting for enlightenment. Orgasms are healthy, healing and naturally uplifting. Unlike men, women have the ability to enjoy endless multiple orgasms and I think it is something to explore, enjoy, and celebrate.

To the product designers I’d like to say ‘Hey! ONE BIG THANKS buddy! You’re earning a lot of good karma my friends for some uber smart, techy innovations and variations in this category.’

I am an ex advertising professional (art director) slash ex college level teacher but in my mid 40s I switched gear and went back to my first love i.e. words and I write for films now. All my professions needed a deep connect and understanding of human behaviour and sexuality has been my favourite subject. 

Anonymous member –

Women’s sexuality is not an often understood concept. A woman can have desires??? For the longest time, I also believed that sex was over when the man was satisfied, if that got done quickly, so I should be happy with that, if it took longer, then I should be happy with that too. Where my satisfaction in this graph was was of no consequence. So, satisfying your man was the be all end all of why we had sex. Right? Wrong.

Lets first face the fact that women have desires too, they get horny too and they like to orgasm too. It is said that a woman takes very long to climax and sometimes never manages it at all. No sir, that’s not true. This happens when she is not stimulated or aroused enough by her partner. Leave this to her and like everything else, see how well she can make magic happen. This is where vibrators come in.

When I was first exposed to the idea of masturbation, I found it revolting. I grew up to believe that exploring the “Netherlands” on your own was so wrong. When I saw vibrators for the first time, I laughed. I was presented my first vibrator by my partner at the age of 45. To be honest, he is the man who actually helped me understand that women can orgasm very easily and quickly and also, multiple times. So my birthday present was the use of the vibrator together. You would wonder why one would use a vibrator as a couple. But that’s where the stimulation, foreplay and listening to the woman’s body comes into play. Sometimes you should just let a machine help you do things to add spice to your relationship.

I never thought this would end up having such an impact that I neither laughed at it nor did I feel repulsed. It was comfortable; it was awesome to say the least. Over a period of time, the vibrator got its name from how sexy I found Chadwick Boseman, the “Black Panther”. In the past 3-4 years that I have had it, I have realised that I am not shy to recognise my desires and act on them when I am feeling frisky.

Orgasms release endorphins and oxytocin which are feel-good hormones, activate pleasure centers in the brain that create feelings of intimacy and relaxation and help stave off anxiety and depression. That itself is reason enough to help yourself to a bit of pleasure. It’s funny that at a menopausal age when most women have a declining libido, I seem to come on heat before every period. During these days, I thank the maker of the vibrator. I am not shy to use it solo anymore, because, I know, more than anyone else, what stimulates me, what gives me pleasure and what I would want to do about it. After nearly 3 decades of sexual maturity, I finally feel in control of my sexuality and not embarrassed about my desires and taking them to satisfaction myself.  

Parul Srivastava

Okay, reality check;

I know we are not living in a society where sexual health, sexual experiences and sexual pleasures or even the exploration of sexual pleasures is spoken about freely. And when it comes all of the above relating to women, toh even more so!

Now with all that being where we’re at.. VIBRATORS! The word is almost taboo, and if some of us do talk about it with friends, it’s still in whispers n giggles, hushed tones and definitely not within earshot of any man. So here’s my recommendation and reasoning to all of you, as to why that needs to change.

First up…it’s healthy! It’s actually good for you!… other than the sexual pleasure aspects, orgasms release lots of feel good hormones into your system, help in de-stressing you, relax you out and even help you sleep.

Also on the health benefits, it even keeps your vagina healthy!.. given that you follow proper hygiene procedures for your vibrators of course. This brings me to point two and also related to health-mental well being..

I know we are all aware of the increasingly frequent posts we have seen on the group, with sooo many of us reaching out for support, guidance or even just to express and vent how hard it can be to be a part of an unhappy marriage. 

Being with a partner where emotional, physical connect might not be how we would like it to be…and the effect that can have on our well being, perception of self worth and leave us wanting/ craving more. So as far as the physical aspect goes.. SELF LOVE, SELF CARE LADIES!!

Anything that brings you more pleasure can only be a good thing for your sex life. Get yourself a vibrator, explore your own pleasures, explore what works for you, what you want and connect with your own body.

Enjoying and embracing what excites you sexually and works for you and doing it solo, can also then make things so much more enjoyable, fun and exciting together with your partner.So many of us go through phases where we are wondering how or wanting to spice things up in the bedroom with our partner.

Get a vibrator!.. play with it, use it together!.. consenting adults!!..creative imaginations!!..and something that’s bound to aid you in enhancing pleasure!..can’t go wrong.

With all the above being food for thought, I will also quickly say; for all the fun that a vibrator can be; it cannot cuddle with you after!.. it cannot lie with you and have long conversations or talk about feelings. And it does not compare to the touch warmth and love from a partner.

But still, it’s quick, it’s private if you want it to be and it’s certainly a release..a fun one at that!

There are plenty of variations now available online or if you are feeling more adventurous and happen to travel overseas. Head into one of the adult stores and explore all the goodies on offer and see what might work for you.

For all any of you wondering whether to get one or not …do it!!..get one!.. take charge of your own pleasure, you owe yourself that!

Bhavna Dahiya
Bhavna Dahiya is an Emotional Wellbeing Coach, Tarot expert and Past Life regressionist. Bhavna loves working with women to reveal their unapologetic, awesome selves. Her passion is her work, she loves exploring new places. When not dancing in nature, you might find her curled up with a book in one of the organic cafes around. You can reach her at [email protected] and

How to Vibrate higher (pun intended). 

I remember the first time I was introduced to one of the mean machines `by my boyfriend. I was terrified. LOL. “I would never use that” I blurted out. I looked at it as if it was something high on steroids and something to be looked down upon. I laugh about it now but I was pretty much a prude back then with fixed ideas about what intimacy is. Even though I had no experience!

While growing up, even till I started working, sex toys and vibrators is something you would only read in the Sydney Sheldons. Nobody would have a clue or how they work. It wasn’t until much later that I was introduced to it. Was always curious about it but too shy to know where to buy it or if it would be worth the investment. Of course we have an amazing variety now.

Coming back to my story, the first time that I saw one was a simple, couple of inches thick, pencil looking thing which apparently is sold in a lot of health conventions and expos. Its called a personal massager, still.   Anyhow, I’m sure my eyes popped out when he showed it to me. I had so many questions in my head – what the hell is he doing with it, why would he have it, is he cheating on me, does he have somebody else in his life, is he really going to use this on me, why? Does that mean that sex is not satisfactory, does that mean that he can’t satisfy with me or what does it mean that you have to be a certain measurement. Phew! The number of questions that swirled in my mind in mere seconds would have put any student to shame. I know now that it was just patriarchal belief systems and that no one talked about sex openly that I judged the situation so much.

I took me a while to try one. Fortunately, my boyfriend was very understanding and he didn’t want me to do anything that I was not comfortable with. Honestly, I felt it was good to have someone experienced to tell you and show you different ways to use a vibrator or sex toy. The pencil one did work well! We have different varieties now, for the vagina, clitoris and one for the back as well! Choose your pick!

Personally, it takes a while to know what works well for you. I am a clit and a vagina person and know what kind of feeling I want, so it’s easier to find the one that will work. If you are buying for the first time, buy one that has a return policy or buy from a store on your holiday abroad. The variety is much more for women abroad. The crystal wands (non-electric) are amazing and come in a lot of design, size and shape. Btw you also have a no spill blanket now.

Over the years I have explored a couple of vibrators and I realise that for me the best ones are the natural ones and of course nothing gives you pleasure like bit of self help – your good ol’ fingers because you know exactly what you want to do, how you need to do it and its also very intimate. Whether you use a vibrator or self help, you need to be ready to explore who you are.  Even when you are just exploring your sensuality and sexuality when alone, it can be scary because it will show parts of you that you probably don’t want to see. It might open up ideas, fantasies and thoughts of how you enjoy sex and what it means to you and that can be scary because you are ripping away all the layers of who you think you are. And getting to know who you truly are. I remember when this started happening, I felt shame. I felt shameful for feeling what I felt about my sexuality, I felt guilty that I had a good sexual appetite, I felt sinful that I am doing something wrong, that I don’t deserve it and questioned, “ Is this really me?” I judged myself for years and years till I realised that it’s time to rip off the band aid. And boy when you do that your exploration of your own sexuality is of another level; you are no longer the same person that you were before you started to explore this.

You become unapologetic. You really don’t want to take anybody else’s shit and you start to love yourself at a very deep level. You love yourself so gently, so beautifully that you realise that this is the kind of love that you need… so whether it is through a person or a vibrator or something natural it doesn’t matter.

I’m waiting to explore the Rabbit and the Bullet vibrator that works with an app and your partner can control the app. Wouldn’t that be something!

Some Tips

  • Listen to that inner voice asking you to do Yoga. It does wonders for your flexibility.
  • Do a mix of different speeds and different types of vibrators. It is an investment.
  • Get to know your body – are you a clit or a vagina person. You will be able to buy the right one for yourself. Even better if someone gifts it to you
  • Explore it at least once. Bring in the spice in your relationship
  • It’s a myth that post 40 or 50, sex drive goes down for women– it depends on how much have you explored your sexuality. And sex is not just penetration!

Explore at your own risk… because once you get started, you will not stop! And let me tell you a little secret… cucumber is still my all-time favourite.. just in case you like all things organic

Until a few years back I was totally unknown and uninterested with the concept of self pleasing, till a friend introduced me to it. Initially it was just curiosity and then.. curiosity killed the cat 
There is no denying it is an awesome invention and even much better that they are easily available online and through some private sellers. With so many options available It does get confusing. I personally like to go with Feel Size Features in that order. 
One of the popular products is the magic wand , I just love it, and its easily available on amazon by the name of neck massager or women massager. Its not a dildo its only a vibrator but does a superb work. All those who enjoy clitorial more than penetration, you’ll love it. I just knew this would work for me, and it did. We know our bodies the best. 
I actually found using dildos very tiring specially when we have to ourselves do the thrusting, and to my good fortune I found one that does it for you. Yes, a vibrating dildo with speed options, hot feature plus 3 or 4 thrusting speeds and it looks pretty.. you just gotta sit back / lay down and enjoy.
 So we just have to choose according to our requirements, just like we do with everything else.
I grew up in a hostel so knowing about self pleasure came quite early thanks to the senior girls . But the huge taboo about pleasure toys in India , made self pleasure limited to fingers or maybe a shower hose .
I moved to London for work and discovered Ann Summers a retail brand for sex toys. There’s a book named ‘A women’s courage written by Jacquline Gold founder of Ann summers . It’s a must-read . There was no looking back after that .
I still have some of the precious toys I picked from there  this was almost 15 years back .
Times have changed now , there are sites selling vibrators , dildos and other sex toys but its still not advertised enough or we don’t have stores like other countries . If we look on Amazon we do get vibrators but they are sold as personal massagers .
Makes me wonder why do Indians shy away from accepting self pleasure . In my experience I don’t think there’s any man on this earth who can give you multiple orgasms like a dildo does  . I don’t think its just a substitute for when you are alone but it does take the whole experience to a next level with your partner as well . Of course your male partner should be game to enhance the whole sex play with toys experience cause what i have observed is Indian men take it to their ego if their partners prefer to use a sex toy to get an orgasm they aren’t open to the fact that using a sex toy has nothing to do with their capability of satisfying their partners. These two are completely different .
I came across a survey where a large number of women accepted that they never reached a climax during intercourse with their partners and the concept of sex toys was alien to them . Made me wonder what did these women do to get an orgasm .
Some of the comments on the thread where you asked for inputs , were that they found it very funny and couldn’t stop laughing while using it . Am not sure how that happens cause for as long as I have used them , I have only screamed and moaned in pleasure never really laughed  as funny .