I am Aditi Anand. A single mother to two beautiful kids, I am a working professional whom knows exactly what she wants in life and how she’s going to get there. I believe that the present moment is where the future is created. If you work hard and stick to your priorities and goals, your future self will be incredibly thankful.
Ours was an arranged marriage. It was not a love at first sight. But he made me fall for him by his patience and calmness. We had an amazing and somewhat perfect life with our shares of ups and downs, completed with two lovely kids, own house, big car and works.
But in the year 2011, my life turned upside down. My robust husband was misdiagnosed. Within a month, I lost him due to jaundice that was not treated properly, and he left me with 2 small children aged 8 and 4.5 years.
Though a qualified professional, I was not working at that time. Yes, freelancing, out of choice and on my terms. Suddenly there was a need to earn to maintain the regular flow of income. Financially, I was able to tide the wave as SAP takes very good care of its deceased employees. But I needed to work to maintain my sanity and to run the house smoothly.
Fortunately for me during the same time, there was an opening that matched my profile, but at a junior level, in his office. The Center Head asked for my cv and hence started the long process of various interview rounds. I was nervous as hell as I was going back in the business after a break of almost 10 years. Those 2 months when I was facing various interview rounds, were very tumultuous.
I was not sitting idle . While waiting for the results, I started working part time in one of the companies where I was freelancing before.
I had two small kids who were terrified. I braced myself and became a tigress, divided between protecting her cubs and going out and work.
I charted the things that needed to be sorted out. First and foremost, I paid my house and car loan from the money that I got from his office. Next was to collect all the investments that he made at various places. I was very much in loop of all his financial investments and we ensured that he made me nominee at all the places. That somewhat but not entirely made it easier for me to follow up with the financial institutes. Still it took me 2.5 years to get all his dues .
Meanwhile I got the job in SAP and hence started the process of proving myself at my workplace, taking care of the house, kids and running around for his dues. It was a long long battle. Now when I look back at it, I realise how much I have gone through. With my hard work, I started climbing up the ladder.
All through this, I didn’t let my kids see me crying. I used to cry while driving, in the washroom, but one thing I was very clear, I will not be a weak mom.
Today my kids are very proud of me. I still remember, Sandeep was a doting father to both his kids. They had started their international trips in their cribs, so when he expired, my son who was almost five, asked me innocently, if he would be able to fly again. It broke my heart and I decided then and there that no matter what, I will give the same lifestyle as their father had given them. And I can proudly say that I have able to keep my promise till now.
He was the only son of his parents with no siblings. Though we stayed separately, but my in-laws are a huge support. Because of them only, I was able to give my all to the job, as they used to take care of my kids when they were back from school in the afternoon. I am always around them in their good and bad times so much so that they refer to me as their son ?. Now that’s the biggest compliment a daughter-in-law can get. My parents and brother have been with me through thick and thin and they ensured that I should not lose focus of my life and stay positive.
I never stayed alone in the night before he was gone, a kind of ‘darpok’ person in the night. But here I am , it’s been 7 years that I stay alone in my house with both the kids.
I also had my share of comments from neighbours and relatives, but I knew how to handle them and shut their mouths once and for all. I had my moments of weakness and helpless, it’s not being brave all the time. Sometimes I handled the situation with patience and sometimes with iron hand. I was very clear that I will not let the society think that I am a vulnerable woman.
I have my own set of good friends in my neighbours and office, whom I can trust and ask for advice when in doubt. Some of my colleagues have become my life long confidantes.
Kids have grown up and become my support system. Many a times I am not sure, if I am taking a right decision in some of the matters, but when in dilemma, I do have my conversation with him (still). Once I do it, he ensures he sends me the answer in one way or the other.
Thank you Aditi for sharing your challenging as well as inspiring journey with us .
While being a single mother is no doubt tough, it also helps to create one of the strongest bonds in the world. Of course you will have your highs and lows, but all of it will only make your relationship with your children stronger.Kudos to all the single moms.