I am made to ponder and dig deep.Should I stop referring business or just wash my hands off the whole thing. Anyone asks do you know someone good? We simply say, “Sorry! Pls, find yourself.” No! This does not seem the solution.

Let’s analyze this matter.

Whenever we are need of buying something we ask our friends or put in on FB, hey my fav “Gurgaon Moms” my most popular group.

Do you know someone good? I need this service/ I need to buy this product.

Hey! I need a cake now? Hey pls, help urgently need a doctor?

A long list pops up and based on who is referring and how many are referring, I choose my prospective vendor.

(Wish I could choose clients? Asking for too much for a start-up L)

Now, this is what happens….

What goes in the mind of those referring:

  • Hey a friend needs business, let's refer her (I actually never tried her but genuinely wanted to help her get some business)
  • I tried a service and product and it was awesome! J J Deserves it
  • Favour back: She always writes my name, I need to repay, I must refer her
  • Networking Forum: I am a member of a business group, must show I pass some business
  • Marketing agents: I am an employee, need to meet targets
  • Any other reason… Humans after all…. 😉

What goes in the mind of those who gets references:

  • Numbers: So many people referring, should try this one out
  • First come first: in a hurry, called the first person referred and done 
  • Thoughtful ones: Let everyone comment, will give to best quotation
  • Critical Study: Why are people referring this one person more, questions back- pls comment only if you tried them



Yet another referral turned bad!

The Cake I ordered was not delivered on time….

The doctor I tried, fleeced money and told useless tests

The home caterer had bland food, pickle

The make-up artist charged a bomb for stupid looks

The florist sent stale flowers

What the hell is this referral?


  • Now let’s write all negative comments. They will pay for it!
  • Beware of this business…. cheats! UNPROFESSIONAL NO BUSINESS ETHICS
  • This group has stupid people and refer friends to cheat us
  • Horrible Horrible!!! Never try them
  • He, admin! Do you favour this business…everyone wrote their name, what are you doing?
  • Hey admin, do you charge for referring or keep sleeping
  • Calling the person who referred “hey you referred a crook to me! Never ever refer them again!”

Take a Deep breath. Relax…. Difficult I know

How to handle the situation?

If you are the Vendor:

  • Remember: “Customer is the king!” “Customer is always right!”
  • Gather all the patience you ever had in life and gracefully handle a sour customer with a smile, offering whatever you can. This one customer can tarnish your image and leave a black mark on your mind.
  • What to do? — Apologise and Offer Solutions! (Ignore the shouting and screaming of customer- you could not deliver, now be patient)
  • What not to do? – Never Ever Shout back at the customer. Worst is finding faults with the customer and threatening them back. Your negative reaction will make it a bad customer. As long as you are positive, there is hope

If you are the Customer:

What to do?

  1. Remain Calm. There is no need to go crazy. Always give the business a chance to explain and solve your problem
  2. Genuinely consider solutions being offered
  3. Focus only and only on your problem
  4. Problem not solved: Don’t pay, give negative feedback- exit.

What not to do?

  1. Remember: “You are paying for a product or a service, you are not getting some rights to misbehave!”
  2. Misbehaving badly, doing a character assassination of business owners, going around defaming them shows anger and ego and nothing else.
  3. By not delivering you, they lost a customer and much more who would have come through you. Earned a negative comment and what more you want.
  4. Spare the ADMINS OF THE GROUP! They neither control you nor anyone else.

Those referring and listening to their referral being turned bad

  • Never get involved in the whole process.
  • You referred for a reason and purpose ended at that
  • Just observe the attitude of parties handling the conflict. Lesson 

A good service has 2 parties, a good business, and a good customer. Same business could not deliver, while they may be wrong in many ways, it could be a case of bad customer also or could have reasons beyond anyone’s control.

  • I had picked the Cake on my way when I ordered which was not delivered on time….
  • I told the doctor clear symptoms and medicine worked for me while the referral was not aware and felt the doctor fleeced money and told useless tests
  • I made it a point to explain my taste to the home caterer who sold bland food
  • The make-up artist understood my skin type and gave me a glow, while client misunderstood another client.
  • I was aware of seasonal flowers and ordered the right flowers

So, what is the conclusion:

  • The fact is: I referred for a reason and shall continue to do so. It just works this way 
  • One referral turned bad, I will again ask for referral J I will! (Truth)
  • I will again need someone’s feedback but will be more careful in from whom I take it and will apply my own judgment also. (This is something to be remembered!”)
  • “Do as you want others to do to you” Be kind and graceful and you would want others to behave with you 

Hope you enjoyed reading it and it helps readers

My Purpose solved. Thanks