Being a single parent is not easy and in our society, being a single mom is even more difficult. As a mother, you want the best for your children even if you have to handle almost everything single-handedly. At times, the pressure and stress become overpowering and that is when one needs to look at ways and methods to reduce the stress in order to stay sane and in control. If you are a single mom then this would be truly helpful as these tips and guidelines will help you take it easy and handle the stress well. It’s time you take care yourself too in order to be there for your children.
Stop feeling guilty: A lot of single moms have the tendency to blame themselves for not being able to provide a ‘normal’ family atmosphere to their children. Get this guilt out of your system. You are a single mom for a reason best known to you and you chose this for your betterment and the benefit of your children. You may be a single mom not by choice, but again why blame yourself for this? As a single parent, you need to focus on a lot of important things as you are responsible for your child’s future. Your child needs your complete love, affection, and care as you are the only parent that she has around, so get rid of the guilt and concentrate on what’s important.
Create a support system: Always remember a mom is a human and not a superwoman. Yes, we love being called one however we too need support. So, do not be ashamed of asking for help when required. You don’t need too many people to create your support group. Reach out to those you know that genuinely care and are ready to help you. Family members, friends, house -helps and babysitters, set up your group as per your requirement.
Handle your finances well: Single moms may get some financial support from their ex-partner or no child support at all. Whatever your situation is, you need to manage your income and expenses well so that you can ensure some savings regularly. It may be difficult initially, however with time if you plan things accordingly you can take the necessary steps for budgeting and saving.
Don’t be hard on the children: The pressure and the stress should never impact your behavior with your kids. Treat them normally and most importantly treat them as children. They don’t have to be more mature than their age because they don’t have both their parents by their side. If you feel that you are taking out your frustration on your kids regularly, then do take advice from a family member, friend or even a counselor if needed.
Take care yourself: For a single mom, 24 hours doesn’t seem enough as a lot of things are done single-handedly. However, taking care yourself is important too. A happy and healthy mommy would have happy and healthy children. So, don’t neglect your health, take out some ‘me’ time which may be spending time with your friends, or catching a movie or going for a walk or picking up a hobby. Do anything that away from your regular routine to break the monotony.
Say the truth: Yes, this is very important. Your child may ask a lot of questions about your relationship and the reason behind the absence of the father. Don’t lie to your child and cook up stories. Tell the truth but in a way that the child would understand as per the age. Don’t share all the details but only what he needs to know. Lying to your children might just complicate things. Speaking to the teachers at school and sensitizing them about your family status would help them handle your child better.
Do fun things with your kids: ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’ We all know that so be sure to take time out to play, draw, sing, dance, read, or do anything with your children that make them happy.
Being a single mom is truly a mammoth task but and you are bound to get exhausted and stressed at times. It’s perfectly normal to have a meltdown, but the key is to get yourself back together again for your sanity and the betterment of your children.
"Being a single mom is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love and twice the pride."